Monday, August 03, 2015

Dancy With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight

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Yeah yeah it's probably a bit much to think that this shot in this week's episode of Hannibal was created just for me, but given my oft expressed prediliction of this sorta thing (I am missing Dandy Mott so) I'm also not putting it totally outta the realm of possibility either. My birthday was just a couple of weeks ago, after all. Thanks for the present, Bryan Fuller!
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Wild Boys

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Deadline's reporting that production on HBO's six-part Lewis and Clark miniseries starring Casey Affleck and (more importantly) Matthias Schoenaerts has been temporarily halted up in Canada because of weather as well as "creative differences" between the studio and the director John Curran - since Curran's actually now left the project I think they should give the "weather" excuse a rest probably, and just admit the latter's the real issue. Curran previously directed We Don't Live Here Anymore and The Painted Veil; HBO's apparently looking for his replacement as I type this. Whomever they choose I sure do hope they're someone who'll take full advantage of what they've got up there...

... perhaps David DeCoteau is free?
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

you can learn from:


Janey: Wendy... a person's body is his temple. This body is your first and last possession. Now... as your own parents have probably told you, in adolescence our bodies tend to betray us. That's why... in Samoa and other developing nations... adolescents are sent out into the woods, unarmed... and they don't come back till they've learned a thing or two. Do you understand?

In case you didn't notice what with this week's banner we're feeling Ang Lee's The Ice Storm this week -- we re-watched it yesterday for the thousandth time and as soon as we heard Siggy sell the hell out of this speech we knew it needed to have one of these posts dedicated to it. And then we decided that this week's edition of "Beauty Vs Beast" over at The Film Experience needed to tackle this movie as well, so we did that too. We got the Ice Storm fever! Head over to TFE to pick which 70s housewife you favor...
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I'll Have What Jai's Having

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Our fave furry koala-boy Jai Courtney went full on at the Osheaga Music Festival in Montreal this weekend... full on full on something, that's for sure. 

Looks like a good something, too. Oh to have been there to have taken advantage of his euphoric state! (pics via)


Gratuitous Hideaki Itô

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Japanese actor Hideaki Itô became one of our faves last year when he played the high school teacher psycho leading man in Takashi Miike's film Lesson of the Evil (see our review here) - we'd seen him in a few things previously, like Miike's own movie Sukiyaki Western Django, but Evil really lets him (and his bare ass) shine. 

When I saw it is his 45th birthday today I realized with some detective work that I've posted less on him than I thought I had - there are a couple of pictures in this post and there are a couple pictures on Tumblr, but he deserves more love. Much more! 

So hit the jump and more, 
much more, you will find.

Which Is Hotter?

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I don't know why CW boys Stephen Amell & Jared Padalecki are taking all these pictures of themselves hanging out half-naked together (it's probably a safe assumption that they're friends... with benefits?) but I'm certainly not going to dissuade them from doing so. Go to town, boys!
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... finding wedded bliss beneath Dominic Cooper's kilt.

Over at The Film Experience our pal Manuel gave the new trailer for Miss You Already -- the cancer comedy starring Drew Barrymore, Toni Collette, and Dominic Cooper, which we've talked about previously -- the once over, alerting us in the process to the presence of shirtless Dom in a kilt goodness. And whilst I gave the trailer my own once-over I sussed out another shot worth savoring...

... Dom wandering around in the background without any trousers on! Can he just do that the entire movie? It will really make all of the sad cancer stuff go down easier if Dom's always there in the background without pants on. Or the foreground, even. Okay here's the trailer:
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Good Morning, World

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Happy Monday, everybody - so how many of you plowed through all eight episodes of Netflix's Wet Hot American Summer series this weekend? I sure did, and... it had its moments. (Many of them provided by Kristen Wiig, of course.) I actually think it might benefit from spacing the episodes out and not binging though -- I got a little bit numb to the wink-wink absurdity of a lot of it about halfway though. My advice is take the episodes slowly, then. We've had fifteen years with just the original movie - what's a few extra days?


Thursday, July 30, 2015

Be My Valentin

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A shorter week just got shortest -- I'm unexpectedly off tomorrow after a long week of barely working at all. But then you know this already  because I literally just mentioned it ten minutes ago when I posted all of those pictures of Jake Gyllenhaal's straining abdominal muscles. But hey when isn't a reminder your friend if it's swaddled in "Barbara Valentin in Ali Fear Eats the Soul" goodness? That's what I always say. Seriously ask anybody, that's like my go-to phrase.

Have a great weekend, everybody!
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Quote of the Day

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"As big as it would seem, [the eight-inch prosthetic penis] did not look that big on him. I think it was just because Chris is such a big, hulking dude... He makes the normal-size penis look small."

Vulture talked to the directors of National Lampoon's Vacation reboot about the cock heard round the world and this is what they had to say. Beautiful, beautiful words. Too bad the movie's supposed to suck. Hmmmm, suck...
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Last Sweaty Stop Before Southpaw

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I'd been putting this post off for two reasons - number one, I still haven't seen Southpaw yet. But now I'm planning on going tomorrow since I just found out my office is closed tomorrow, putting that concern outta the way. And number two, I knew this was a lotta work and I had other stuff to catch up on. This one I side-stepped though - I still have lots of other stuff to catch up on but my brain said fuck it, we wanna stare at Jake now.

So stare at Jake we did. And...

... did. The saintly folks at IHJM have done what they do and kept track of every Southpaw image released online, so we rounded those up along with finally giffing that behind-the-scenes work-out video, and here we are. Excuse me, ahem, here...

... we are. Here is a nice place to be. So if you guys have seen Southpaw already, so ahead and tell me you thoughts in the comments. I don't think it's possible for you to spoil me since that first trailer gave everything away anyway, and I doubt it's got much up its sleeve surprise wise. Jake's ripped torso wise though...

... that's there in spades, and that's most clearly what we're here for. Hit the jump to see the fruits of my -- Not Jake's! Mine! All mine! -- labors, with over forty more pictures...

Cursor Cursed

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There were a lot of surprises in store for me with Unfriended. The first surprise was when it came out and everybody was all "Hey this somehow isn't the pile of derivative shit the trailers make it look like." That was a surprise. The second surprise, and this one only hit me upon having finally watched the movie last night on my laptop, emphasis on that last bit, was that the film apparently worked so well for people in the movie theater - I liked the movie a lot but I can't imagine what a theatrical viewing was like; I'd love to hear from any of you who may've seen it in the theater.

But watching the film with my laptop propped on my lap laying under the covers of my darkened bedroom, Unfriended was kind of a singular experience. Who'd have thunk it? Filmmakers keep trying to wring horror from of Our Technological Now even though it's proven itself a brick wall time and time again, but Russian director Leo Gabriadze went and made the brick wall his bitch.

He overwhelms our tech obsessive impulses - you know that physical sensation in your gut you get nowadays from the red dot of a Facebook message caught out of the corner of your eye? Unfriended makes that impulse the cyber equivalent of going into the basement or checking on a noise you heard outside - you just have to click, you gotta, there is no steeping back from the ledge no matter how dumb it makes you, death and dismemberment and heaven forbid defriending be damned.
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Which Is Hotter?

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Tom Hardy or Joe Gordon Levitt in Inception?
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A happy 45th birthday to Chris Nolan today,
if only for bringing these two together.


Thursday's Ways Not To Die

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"Pay Attention or Pay The Price" 
Road Safety Ad (2000)

In case the school uniforms and the presence of My Beloved Julian Morris didn't give it away already this ad was British, so here in the States we missed out. And did we miss out! Fortunately for us all Julian has made a name for himself (by being super charming and also oh right getting naked a lot) and so this ad lives on via the internet for us all the world over to enjoy. Here's the video:
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I couldn't find much info on the ad save the year (via) so if anybody knows more, feel free to share. I'm especially keen to know what the reaction was like in the UK when this thing aired - seems to me if I'd been the teenage audience this thing was aiming at I'd have been obsessed with it, and not just for that sex smirk that Julian smirks... it's great camp. The dramatic cut at the end to the funeral and forcing that poor young actress to EMOTE with a capital MO...

Not that I can't understand her plight -- getting permanently cock-blocked by a minivan on the road to Julian Morris's fine ass would ruin anybody's life. Be safe out there, kiddies!

Hit the jump for links to previous Ways Not To Die