Friday, January 30, 2015

Save Me Jamie Dornan

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I kinda feel as if this week just flew by and I didn't get anything done that I meant to, but I guess what with the gigantic blizzard (we're pretending that happened) I can be forgiven. I was trapped for days! No food, no water - all I had to drink was the moisture I could suck from Jamie Dornan's beard! Trying times, trying times. Anyway it's the weekend, I'm done, bye. See y'all Monday. (pics via, thanks Mac)


Around The Schoenaerts In Eighty Ways

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HBO has just announced a six-part miniseries about the wild and wacky adventures of Meriwether Lewis and William Clark to be called, wackily enough, Lewis and Clark, which will star Casey Affleck as the former and yes indeed our favorite big Belgian slab of beef Matthias Schoenaerts as the latter, less-Meriwether'ed portion. John Curran, who directed The Painted Veil and We Don't Live Here Anymore, is directing and he co-wrote the script... along with Edward Norton? Yes that Edward Norton. It's based on the book Undaunted Courage, and it will start filming this Summer. Just for reference sake, here's what the real William Clark looked like (and I can totally see it, for the record - the nose!):

Joel McHale Has A Beard

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Why am I just finding out that Joel McHale's got a beard?

I guess it's my own fault, since 
I fell off with my Soup watching.

But you'd think one of you assholes 
would've told me! Assholes!
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Quote of the Day

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"Let’s put it this way: If a raccoon can carry a movie, 
then they believe maybe even a woman can."

--- Over at BuzzFeed they got Original Master Joss Whedon to clarify those comments of his about female superheroes and the glut of their movies that got the internet a'flutter earlier this week, and per usual he did so with demonstrative panache.
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James Norton Twenty-Two Times

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Okay I need to know everything you people know 
about this actor James Norton right this second! Tell me!

I never got around to writing anything about the movie Belle (which was terrific, by the way) but it was the show Grantchester, upon which he apparently plays some kind of swoony vicar, that tossed him in front of me not once not twice but thrice today, in totally separate and unrelated instances.

Making it clear that there's some James Norton floating in the air right now, and I want in on it. So tell me what you know (like maybe about how he's got a fetish for bloggers whose feet are really sweaty right now) and then hit the jump for 17 more pictures!

The San Francisco Treat

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I jokingly linked to a crazy blurry shot of Michael Fassbender on the San Francisco set of Danny Boyle's Steve Jobs movie yesterday touting it as our first look at him in character; this shot (via, thanks Murtada) gives us a much clearer look, although how "in character" Michael is there is yet to be seen. In related news, I considered lightening that shot to see how the cock-wrangling was going for this movie (he's been spotted on sets flying far and wild in the past, you most likely recall) but I'll give him this moment to be, you know, respected or whatever.
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Which is Hotter?

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I heard there's like a game this weekend?
Something to do with balls?
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Harry Caul: I'm not afraid of death, 
but I am afraid of murder. 

God I love The Conversation. I wish I was watching The Conversation right this minute. Anyway a happy 85th birthday today to the great great Gene Hackman, who is sorely missed from the movies. Missed so much that the internet - specifically Dylan McDermott - tried to murder him the other day!
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That was in reference to a tweet, since deleted (although he did mention it in a follow-up), wherein McDermott gave Gene the RIP tweet treatment, although he's still very much alive, which seems to have been born out of confusion over a Grantland article earlier this week which was celebrating Gene's career and was titled "Gene Hackman Is Gone But Still in Charge" -- the article's title has since been changed to "Gene Hackman Is Retired But Still in Charge," but the damage was done. That sad say day when Hackman passes... all eyes will now turn to Dylan "Bloody Hands" McDermott.

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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A pang of sadness just shook my entire self, realizing that all the Dandy Mott there was and ever will be is out there already in the world - no more bare-assed Precious taunts or bare-assed blood-baths, no more Matty Bomer underpants mounts, no more hopping temper tantrums in soaking wet tighty-whities. No more nothin'. I hate you I hate you I hate you!

But as my Dandy-nostalgia took hold I did learn something new - apparently in 2012 he starred in a staging of Sweet Bird of Youth opposite Diane Lane in Chicago, and as with all things Tennessee Williams related it did a just-fine job of exploiting its male lead.

Bless you, Tennessee Williams and bless you Finn Wittrock. So I managed to find a bunch of pictures from the show and a trailer and some behind-the-scenes footage, hit the jump for all of that...

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Desert Doppelgangers

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In that, the first clip from Werner Herzog's Queen of the Desert, we watch the dude from Homeland make out with what appears to be a 25 year old Naomi Watts but is actually Nicole Kidman, I guess? Honestly it is super weirding me out how much Nicole's work seems to have settled into a resemblance of her Aussie BFF. I actually thought it might be Watts for a second.

Quote of the Day

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"It's pretty tight, I'm not going to lie. They've done such a great job. I can't wait for fans to really see it. But put it this way, there is no world where you change in a phone box. It takes four people and about 45 minutes... They're very clever about it. You get three zippers. You zip them all up, but when you have to wee, you just have to zip one down—the wee zipper."

--- Charlie Cox talking his Daredevil costume.
Wee zipper. (via, thanks Mac)
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Unzipping Jamie Dornan

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I'm at work so I'm watching the "racy" new ad for Fifty Shades of Grey without the sound on so nobody tell me that that shot of Jamie Dornan unbuttoning his pants isn't matched with the sound of a needle being yanked off a record - I need to believe that's the sound-effect they used. I NEED IT. Here let's just do it ourselves to make sure; watch the gif and listen to this:
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Taye Diggs Finally Realized...

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... what Instagram is for.

It took him long enough.

That's his brother Gabe with him.

Also that's not what I meant when I said 
"Give me a piece, Taye Diggs."
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Who Wore It Best?

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Rollergirl: Original or Remixed?
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Happy 45, Heather Graham!

You know what, somebody give Heather a great role again. When she's great, she's so great, and I miss her. She was really good in her small role opposite Paul Schnieder in Goodbye To All That -- more of that, and less of that VC Andrews junk.


Mechad Brooks On The Metropolis Beat

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Well that's what you think of when you think of Jimmy Olsen, right? No no I'm not being snarky about the "turning him black" thing, I could give a shit about that - I'm snarking on the six no eight no twelve pack stomach and mountainous bosoms, natch. Jimmy Olsen, uber-nerd, is now Mechad Brooks, body by Michelangelo.

Slash has the news that Brooks has joined the Supergirl show as the formerly ginger boy-reporter - I might be less inclined to snark if I'd been able to stand Brooks on True Blood, but I couldn't -- I hated his character with the power of infinite suns. I suppose we'll see if it was just the character or if it was the actor once Supergirl flies in - I haven't seen him on anything else. It does look like they put him to good use on that football show he was on though.


Do Dump or Marry: Cappy's Harem

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I just randomly stumbled upon these shots of Captain America: The Winter Soldier actors Frank Grillo, Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie hanging out, and they make the perfect triad for a Do Dump or Marry post, methinks. I believe they're all back for the next couple of Cappy Civil War movies, right?

If you need to do, you know, research, before you make your decisions -- Sebastian we've posted plenty of, click here; Frank we somehow haven't posted tons of before, although he did get Do-Dump-Marry'd before with his Kingdom kin... but really just click here for everything that you need to know about Frank Grillo, that'll do the trick. And as for Anthony, he loves Channing Tatum's ass - what else do you need to know?

Alright so I want you to look at the picture below, pretend you're Chris Evans and that you could do whatever you want with anybody around you (since that is what Being Chris Evans is like) and make your choices in the comments -- Dump Dump Marry, go!


Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Sofia: All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my uncles. I had to fight my brothers. A girl child ain't safe in a family of mens, but I ain't never thought I'd have to fight in my own house!! I loves Harpo, God knows I do. But I'll kill him dead 'fo I let him beat me.

Happy birthday, Oprah

You get bees! (I will never ever get tired of that; I don't care how many times I see it, it always makes me laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.) Anyway I'd grown really tired of Oprah for awhile there - years, really - but I gotta say she was used like gangbusters in Selma; it works like a charm, asting her in that role. Watching Oprah - OPRAH - treated so shittily at that registration window; watching Oprah - OPRAH - knocked down in the street. It's just a fine short-cut to outrage and makes the movie's job a little bit easier; the audience jumps right in early on, thanks to her.


Michael Fassbender Is Steve Jobs!

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Clearly! I mean, the resemblance is uncanny, isn't it? Ashton Kutcher who? Michael Fassbender's blowing everybody outta the water here. He's just become Steve Jobs. Period, full stop, give him the Oscar already. The essence of Jobs is just pouring off my computer screen.

Okay okay there's the full picture (via) from the set - obviously you can't tell shit about anything there. You can sort of tell he's got long hair - if you've seen Fassy lately (look below) you know he's grown his hair out a bit, but not quite that much - weave alert!

And normally I'd photo-shop out the regular human being in such a picture (via) but I love that dude. That stance! He is so proud! And he should be -- Michael Fassbender has his arm around him. He should cast his own fucking torso in gold now.
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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